Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
you will always have a special place in my vag
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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