hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
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after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize