I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize