I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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