yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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