sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize