i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize