I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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