did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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