I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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