K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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