I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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