...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize