Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
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so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
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Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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