I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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