mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize