"it" just moved
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize