My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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