There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
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Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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