He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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