Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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