thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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