JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
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Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
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We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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