Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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