We named our party play list daddy issues
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
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