So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
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I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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