I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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