i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
you're hired as official boob wrangler
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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