You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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