imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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