I have demons in me.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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