All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize