It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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