Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
How does one acquire holy water?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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