The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
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