How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
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He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
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Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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