I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize