i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
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I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
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Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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