Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
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