Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize