Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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