dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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