I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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