She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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