my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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