Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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