So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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