You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize