...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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