I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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